i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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