She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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