i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize