You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh god the rape fog is back!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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