you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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