This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
