you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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