I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
