he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
