Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
