Me too!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
