Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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