this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
