DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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