Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
