Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
