my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He did a backflip because drugs
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
