Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
