Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
