What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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