I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The Olympian is in my bed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
