I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
