just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
