we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
