You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
