I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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