Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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