WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
