I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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