I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
