Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
