what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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