literally had 100 drinks last night.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
