okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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