My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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