Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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