I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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