Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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