I hope mine doesn't look like that
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
