Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
