dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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