Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
