even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
