He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
