I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
love makes seman taste better
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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