hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
