508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
