she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
