I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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