They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
