Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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