maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
