Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
