You really coming over, don't trick.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Houston, we have a blender
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
