where am i from again
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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