My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
