is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
