I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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