apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
