The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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