Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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